God has made wonders upon us both. I am so full of joy when ever I see your
status on FB. When you write your poetry; I get the chills down my spine, knowing
this one thing (out of many others) you deeply adore to do. Seeing you party and
work (jogging them two) as if nothing occurred…
I applaud you. The same way you applaud me and we don’t really realize it;
the same way you are drowned to my character is the same I am to yours; the same
way you become vulnerable and just need someone 2 listen, is the same way as I
desire to have that moment as well…
Don’t get me wrong; I am considered wiser because I am a mother and wife
but there are moments where I look to you because you have this essence of
empowerment mixed with balance and control and it screams out “I AM MORE
THAN A WOMAN.”
Though our past are different, our parents, our up brings and goals in life
(professionally) @ the end of the cycle we do have both the same “clueless” aurora
that’s too stubborn to show… Our strengths aren’t differ, our ambitions and dreams
aren’t either: two complete opposites does create a chemical bond—spiritually—.
So dearest friend, don’t deceive yourself! Don’t dismiss the inner thought of
you being differ than many other women and men, because you are… You’re human
my friend, we all are, we make mistakes and we live on… Don’t dismiss your true
essence because it is this essence that makes you who you really are; don’t hesitate
because remember we’re alike in particular situations. We were given another chance
to really bloom and reveal our true form also no matter how many times we fallen,
mistakes we had, we’ve managed to Restore, Adapt, Defeat and Conquer…
A Dear Friend
I want to take my time and really think about how life will become from here on. I am carrying another soul in my body; everything I do she feels. Everything I think she thinks, until she grows older and have her own sense of reality. I am a mother… Everything I been through as a single woman, sister, daughter, granddaughter, caregiver and wife are examples of hardships, dreams and goals that I thought I “couldn’t” accomplish…
Here I am holding her; feeling her movement, while I she sleeps, she is being held by the angels that will guard her through her life. It shouldn’t be scary? The Lord has blessed me with abilities and a personality that cannot be described unless you are walking along with Him or who have faith. Should I be concerned? I am NOT perfect and neither will my children, however, this doesn’t mean that we are nothing or that we aren’t going to have flaws (we all do).
One thing I shall acknowledge and hold close to my heart; no matter where I end up in life, I am there for God. Anything I do is all in God’s will for me to succeed, accomplish and be head strong. Whatever has happened; dysfunctional-cultural family structures, emotional abuse, demons unveiled, I have survived (if not I wouldn’t have been here). I am not weak. I am not just a friend. I am not just your sibling, and neither am I just a mother. I am God’s child, I am a child with hidden gifts that shall be uncovered. I am human…
The laundry list goes on… Happy New Year…
Looking at my resume, thinking: “I could of obsessively and insanely chased after a production/journalism career.” However, the Lord has awoken my abilities to an extreme level. I cannot sit here no more and regret neither sob over 3rd-4th place skills that I can apply through my journey while I have 1st-2nd place abilities that will work highly within my family, personality, jobs, and many more.
You see…I saw/heard the Truth when I hear that my husband is promotive, that my sister in law is successfully going through a PH.D, that I see my in laws less stress and happier (enjoying their senior years), when I see that every person that surrounds me are loving, supportive and grateful for things that I’ve accomplished (marriage, home, job, baby, etc.). But all these things haven’t come if I weren’t have been a caregiver, a humble and sentimental friend, a listener, a guardian, a “you need a hug” companion, determine, spiritual…
Lord, I searched, searched and searched… I’ve seen my purpose now, though I’m still a little sketchy, I have found the one thing that never fails to make me content. With that said, I’m no longer searching for approval neither keeping testimonies nor am I dismissing my Holy Spirit which has brought me this far in my life… I am a successful, emotionally-revealing, inner-dependent (soul food crabber) lady 🙂
~~Poetic entry from Morada Lila~~
I hear within me an angel whispering. Asking me to do kind things. Telling me to just try it, be worthy of what you have and be thoughtful and aware of those that don’t. Seems that Jesus is trying to tell his children to not be afraid/fear to extent a hand to those who are struggling, who have loss and were derailed from a specific path, who feel that there’s nothing left in this world but struggles and just “unworthy, pity” request… I hear the angel. She directs me; reminding me the importance of Christ’s birth and sacrifice. It’s the thought that counts; “strange” bold gestures of walking up to them and saying: “God bless you” or simply smiling and not looking away making them ashamed or hopeless… I hear an angel and she is my Holy Spirit directing me to reveal the love of God. I shall listen, for all that I have (friends, family, home, job, life etc) is due to his Grace, Wisdom and Love… and I owe this all to Him.
~~Poetic sayings from Morada Lila~~
(Taken by teaching series, Oneplace.com, Dr. Lutzer Erwin W. “Just Let the Lord Lead”)
Rom.12:1-2;Mat.7:7-8~~~Our transformation shall only be known, understood and holy with the guidance of our Lord’s will.
Transform me. Lead me into the path of the unknown. Fear will withhold me but you know how to shove and slide me towards this path. I shall not fear; you’ll be there with me. Wisdom, I seek, for my destiny as a mother, as a story-teller and as a caregiver (for many that are in need to be heard) shall be spread with light in their lives. Casting your light upon them, with your guidance, shall reveal their TRUTH…
Faults will be uncovered; allow my growth and wisdom of story-telling reveal to them, “You’re not alone.” Slowly, allow my strengths to become the reflection of your Love & good will. Transforming it into the purple butterfly that I’ve imagined to be; flying shoulder to shoulder reflecting the beauty of walking towards your path of resurrection and faith.
I’m not ashamed of who I am. I’m not afraid to to reveal my love for you. I am who, what, where, how my everything is because of you. Though I can be selfish; not show my respects by just saying a simple graceful “thank you,” I know in my mind you are my savior, you are always fair and never fails to give us many chances… Thank you for revealing Truth. Thank you for cherishing me, loving me and never letting me down. Thank you for casting knowledge, love and support in my surroundings through friends, peers and worshipers. Above all thank you for rebirth, for another chance, another beginning, redemption… I know many don’t respect you or give you credit but the power of the Holy Spirit, in me, has taught me forgiveness, kindness, gratitude, faith and hope which speaks sincerely about you. Nothing nor anything can break the gestures, if it do, your wisdom will carry me through. No silence, no fear, no pain, no despairs (desperation)… For everything you been through as a parent, individual in society, a teacher and being part of a family… Thank you for being our savior, Lord, Jesus Christ.
family, motherhood, love, growth, life, culture, values, self, spoken words
My fingers touches your heart. I can hear your voice: tender and grace. A creation that I was so scared to make. Your warmth tickling my soul. Oneself. The second we meet, love at first sight. Oneself, innocence that I deeply want to last forever. Oneself, uniting strangers as one; silencing tormenting pasts. Oneself, you may not be my last; you hold the key of our stories, the protector of all siblings that may come. Oneself, uniquely created with a purpose that only thy shall know. My first, my carefully kneaded womb, my beginning of God’s faith and love for me (written 10 weeks in my belly).
Someday you’ll open your eyes; when you do, I will be there holding you. I will wipe away your tears when you get your first scar. I want to make sure you live your purpose; we got your back. You will never feel alone or confused. I won’t hide any secrets, I want you to be yourself. As you grow, I will sing to you, pray for you, laugh and cry with you… we will enjoy life because God has blessed us.
There will be times when you will feel scared; when you look back I am cheering for you. There will be times when you want to fight; when you are fist pumping I am disciplining you with TLC. There will be times when you want to be right; you will turn around and I will be holding a book in my hand telling you stories about righteous people. When I am gone… you will turn around, you will see me in the mist of the light underneath the stars and sunsets… Our spirits will never be apart… I will be proud of you till the end of time.
“…What religion do you practice?”
“…Well, if God exist then why bad things happen to me/why does evil exist in the world!”
“…if we do certain things won’t HE punish us?”
Questions, questions… Am I embarrassed of you? Am I ready for this? I may have all the answers to these questions, but I’m afraid…
“…REALLY. But in the Bible it states this…”
“…you got baptized! Didn’t you get baptized through the Catholic Church…”
“…are you converted?…”
(Complete silence.) Lord, why do you place me in these situations. I’m too emotional. I feel fragile. I feel unprepared. I feel ignorant! Like I have a shield to protect me from all these insults, questions, these interrogations… My family, my peers and now my co-workers! It’s not the interrogations that bothers me it’s the fact that they don’t understand You, like I do. Or do I?
(Passing back and forth. Sits down. Pouts, and grins.) Why? Why God, why! Listen… (Stands up) I am a sinner. I did held grudges, and I have a past that I cannot resist. I want to move forward but I am afraid. I don’t want to disappoint You. I know things happen for a reason…but why me!
(Looks around) Look, all I know is that… is that… that through You I am pour, through You I can fix things, through You, I can live happily… You paid a high price. Yes, You did. Through Jesus, Your son and our savior… that no matter where I end up, how I get there, or what will be the outcomes; You will be there with me. You created me. You knew me before others. Strengthening me through faith. Creation of a body armor that cannot be shattered only by mankind’s words and deceptions. I know where I stand. It’s clear to me. (Sits down) I fear You. Almighty as You are, please forgive me for doubting You as I will forgive those who has wronged me through my faith…