fear

All posts tagged fear

I’m Naked (in Capital Letters)

Published October 27, 2014 by moradalila2010

We are too afraid. Our fears take over and things go down hill. I’ve decided to let go… I am not a slave to anyone and to anything. This is a part of me that reflects the Truth and my growth in my walk with Jesus. Yes, I said it…”

Naked & Stuck.

The mirror filled with lies. Fear wants to make me another offer. Should I refuse? No one has stand where I stand, or have thou? Listen, my reflection isn’t what you truly see. You haven’t seen my full potential. Fear is whispering, pulling on my side. Yes, speak. I’ve been married to you (Fear) for years and this is the moment where I say, “I want a divorce!” Many are slaves to your pleasant yet “smooth” envisions, and I won’t continue this toxic relationship.

Naked & Scared.

The mirror begins to fog up. Fear’s laughter across the room. The vision of the little girl crying out for her Father plainly relieved. I’m crying. Should I let go? I close my eyes. Here’s my chance to cross the line; surrender.

Naked & Vulnerable.

Cry. I feel a storm coming. Cold breeze brushing through my curls; the shower begins… Every droplet cleansing my wounds. Every droplet running through my curls, down my thick shape…

Naked & Disgusted.

The mirror shattered. It destroyed the chain of lies. What now? Am I free? Suddenly, I hear these voices; here comes Fear. Battered Wife Syndrome perspiring in the air.

Naked & Exposed.

I’m only human. What’s this that I’m hearing? Too many expectations, rules, suggestions and more lies. Enough! I feel weakened by the sharp words and expectations, from whom? Me or society? Who am I running from?

Naked & Confused.

Was it all true, the envision I saw before the mirror shattered? Am I her? Am I this huge disappointment ? Am I she who chooses physical appeal vs. purity? Should I cry for help and run towards refuge? I ran. I ran towards the storm; thunder eroding the ground beneath me. I’m on the floor; naked and cold. I reached for the leaves, anything to cover up the shame, the fear and the exposure, everything that reveals to You my true self. I can’t let You see me like this. Rolling in the mood, I felt worse.

Naked & Dirty.

Here comes Fear. My past and everything I am running away from. All I can do was stand on my feet, battle the Fear in the storm or surrender? Fear, have you won… I’ve disengaged you from my flesh, from your foggy-convincing envisions. I overcame and will overcome you. You (Fear) have deceived me before but cannot anymore. You’ll try and try again to do so but I am wiser; you cannot break me. I’ve overcame with His love, His faith, His mercy and grace. Everything washed away; my relationship with Him hence is real and pure…

Naked at Peace.

Hence just me; my soul overwhelmed with clarity and the Holy Spirit revealing to me real values. I am in my new relationship and walk. The beauty of His kingdom remains alive and strong within me. I was saved from my ex-partner, Fear; a ghost of deceptions and darkness.

Tasteful Truth/Reality

Published April 7, 2013 by moradalila2010
       Is this it? Every now and then, I look back into my crystal ball and wonder: “is this my victory? Will there be another challenge? Will this disappear with a blink of an eye?” You see, I been a scared little girl for almost all my life: relationships lost, friendships questioned, unnecessary competition with people that aren’t going to see me…”
 
      I look into my crystal ball and I see it glow. I see my future and it is glowing. I have never felt this before. I never thought I will get this far. Is this, what is so called “happiness?” I am every day woken up by someone that loves me;who has had his share of darkness… every night he kisses me on my lips and never fails to show me unconditional love. He never fails to show me my true beauty.
 
     My crystal ball… is this it? I am in shock, I am breathless, I am alive… I am in no need to say, do, show anything to anyone. I have nothing to prove… as I see through my crystal ball, I see myself; gracefully loved and understood. All this, I’ve been waiting for and it is finally here; no one and nothing can take this away.

Healing Grace; “Baby Steps”

Published April 5, 2013 by moradalila2010

Healing is a process, especially when you felt betrayed, deceived and worse abused. Along the way, my quest of finding myself, spiritually, while seeking the path of the Holy Ghost; I’ve encountered many challenges. It became a soup of emotions: greed, anger, vulnerability, denial, worthlessness, etc. I’ve realized that the only way out is by seeking (our Lord’s) truth, forgiving and love (fear in our Lord)… when I came across this turn in my life, I felt, “It’s too late for me…” Not realizing that it’s never too late to begin with our Lord.

     My Love can be wonderful. Sharing it with others is what I want. It is something I am grateful for and I want to reveal to those who feel scared and lost. However, can this force inside me be stable? Will she be welcoming, will she be shelter, will she be heard, will she be understood, and should she be yours?

     Hidden away for such a long time, I myself have misunderstood her. Hidden and kept in a box, locked away with a key that took a long time to find. Ironically, hidden in a box, she kept warmth, she kept beating, and she called out to me. I question, am I worth it to you?

     Nonsense… I am worthy. I am vulnerable. I am happy. I am hungry. I am growing. I am strong. I am true. I am selfish and I am a woman… but I am not perfect.