What do you see when you look at me?
Many that truly know me and has allowed for me to reveal my true self to them have experience something remarkable about me and vise versa, God has allowed me to dig deep: looking through all my so called “ugliness.” Digging deep into those scares that I’ve once thought were shameful to show, not worthy to be seen. Thus I covered them (these scars). Cover them for a very long time. It is through poetry, fellowship, the Bible, my proclamation of faith to Jesus (our Savior), and countenances I’ve allowed the Truth to be told.
I ENJOY my VULNERABILITY. I REJOICE the grace embodied through my soul. EMBRACE my inner child. Encountering Fear with a smile, dances and cheers.
I am SATISFIED and CONTENT with everything: past, present and future. Nothing cannot be taken away from me because I am a child of God; I trust in Him, our Lord and Savior. What more can I ask for…
Adapt, Defeat and Conquer!
I’ve seen myself in the light and in the dark.
I want to take everything off; no shame, no words just show… you’ll see what I see, just look into my eyes.
While you see what I see close your eyes and hear my heart’s beats.
Allow me to sing a song without opening my lips.
Allow me to take you, embrace you and show you what really matters.
Take every thing off. No shame. No words, just our Spirits interacting with the Father, the son and the Holy Spirit.
Allow Him to take you in; don’t be scared. He knows every thing!
No shame just listen to the song that I’ve learned to sing.
Pure, humble and in symphony…
Listen.. do you hear our hearts beating? Doesn’t it sooth you? Doesn’t it tell us our stories? Show every thing. No shame. No words. Just listen…
Give me a bottle of wine.
Dandome por pecho por aquellos que estan batallando la soledad, el miedo, sus antojos que la vida no le quiso dar.
Pass me the white wine. toasting for those who fear and those who are capable of placing their hand on fire for those they love. never missing a beat, never missing a breath, never missing a kiss… i am not afraid.
Fear is standing beside me mocking me; asking me to stay with him tonight; trying so hard to fool me.
Me gusta jugar contigo Miedo; aprendi como utilizarte como mi marioneta. cres que me vas a controlar? un beso en la mejilla con mis labios rojos; el color de ambicion, y pasion; un beso con mis labios morados, el color de conquista y de triunfo…
Pass me that glass of wine… come Fear. i am not the little girl you us to manipulate. now, i shall tease you; laugh while you fear me…
God has made wonders upon us both. I am so full of joy when ever I see your
status on FB. When you write your poetry; I get the chills down my spine, knowing
this one thing (out of many others) you deeply adore to do. Seeing you party and
work (jogging them two) as if nothing occurred…
I applaud you. The same way you applaud me and we don’t really realize it;
the same way you are drowned to my character is the same I am to yours; the same
way you become vulnerable and just need someone 2 listen, is the same way as I
desire to have that moment as well…
Don’t get me wrong; I am considered wiser because I am a mother and wife
but there are moments where I look to you because you have this essence of
empowerment mixed with balance and control and it screams out “I AM MORE
THAN A WOMAN.”
Though our past are different, our parents, our up brings and goals in life
(professionally) @ the end of the cycle we do have both the same “clueless” aurora
that’s too stubborn to show… Our strengths aren’t differ, our ambitions and dreams
aren’t either: two complete opposites does create a chemical bond—spiritually—.
So dearest friend, don’t deceive yourself! Don’t dismiss the inner thought of
you being differ than many other women and men, because you are… You’re human
my friend, we all are, we make mistakes and we live on… Don’t dismiss your true
essence because it is this essence that makes you who you really are; don’t hesitate
because remember we’re alike in particular situations. We were given another chance
to really bloom and reveal our true form also no matter how many times we fallen,
mistakes we had, we’ve managed to Restore, Adapt, Defeat and Conquer…
A Dear Friend
“We are too afraid. Our fears take over and things go down hill. I’ve decided to let go… I am not a slave to anyone and to anything. This is a part of me that reflects the Truth and my growth in my walk with Jesus. Yes, I said it…”
Naked & Stuck.
The mirror filled with lies. Fear wants to make me another offer. Should I refuse? No one has stand where I stand, or have thou? Listen, my reflection isn’t what you truly see. You haven’t seen my full potential. Fear is whispering, pulling on my side. Yes, speak. I’ve been married to you (Fear) for years and this is the moment where I say, “I want a divorce!” Many are slaves to your pleasant yet “smooth” envisions, and I won’t continue this toxic relationship.
Naked & Scared.
The mirror begins to fog up. Fear’s laughter across the room. The vision of the little girl crying out for her Father plainly relieved. I’m crying. Should I let go? I close my eyes. Here’s my chance to cross the line; surrender.
Naked & Vulnerable.
Cry. I feel a storm coming. Cold breeze brushing through my curls; the shower begins… Every droplet cleansing my wounds. Every droplet running through my curls, down my thick shape…
Naked & Disgusted.
The mirror shattered. It destroyed the chain of lies. What now? Am I free? Suddenly, I hear these voices; here comes Fear. Battered Wife Syndrome perspiring in the air.
Naked & Exposed.
I’m only human. What’s this that I’m hearing? Too many expectations, rules, suggestions and more lies. Enough! I feel weakened by the sharp words and expectations, from whom? Me or society? Who am I running from?
Naked & Confused.
Was it all true, the envision I saw before the mirror shattered? Am I her? Am I this huge disappointment ? Am I she who chooses physical appeal vs. purity? Should I cry for help and run towards refuge? I ran. I ran towards the storm; thunder eroding the ground beneath me. I’m on the floor; naked and cold. I reached for the leaves, anything to cover up the shame, the fear and the exposure, everything that reveals to You my true self. I can’t let You see me like this. Rolling in the mood, I felt worse.
Naked & Dirty.
Here comes Fear. My past and everything I am running away from. All I can do was stand on my feet, battle the Fear in the storm or surrender? Fear, have you won… I’ve disengaged you from my flesh, from your foggy-convincing envisions. I overcame and will overcome you. You (Fear) have deceived me before but cannot anymore. You’ll try and try again to do so but I am wiser; you cannot break me. I’ve overcame with His love, His faith, His mercy and grace. Everything washed away; my relationship with Him hence is real and pure…
Naked at Peace.
Hence just me; my soul overwhelmed with clarity and the Holy Spirit revealing to me real values. I am in my new relationship and walk. The beauty of His kingdom remains alive and strong within me. I was saved from my ex-partner, Fear; a ghost of deceptions and darkness.
As you dream;
I watch you drift into the skies.
Gliding in the clouds I see your wings.
You are flying away into El Paraiso.
I watch your adult self evolving in my dreams…
Beauty so deep. Driven inspiration afloat.
In your eyes, glittering success and down by the lake I see your reflection so clear and pure…
Youth so well preserved;
skin so soft, hazel crystal eyes of jewels that reproduces your beauty across the land…
It’s not enough, the refection of your grown self.
Would this be you some day…?
Your paradise intertwined with my Garden of Metamorphosis.
Our hands touch;
you held me tightly, never let me go.
Protect me just like your abuelito Tico and your father has.
Never silences the beauty of Las Mariposas…
I awoke and I hear your cries.
Your baby smile;
enlightenment, curiosity, observant.
You my child may not have seen yourself in my dreams.
I know you’ll be alright…
This is a current issue that our future generation has to deal with. Regardless of what social group, class or culture even race this upcoming generation is sacred (not to mention scar-faced) and as a new parent I feel we need to adapt and overcome … we cannot allow our children to hide in the shadows of darkness. I’m just saying…
A mind filled with nonsenses. The explosion has begun. A sheep in the meadow, out in the open. Howling wolves expecting their prey to collapse in fear; waiting for me to surrender. The howls get stronger every night. The approach is near. I am allowing myself to become their prey. Surrounding myself with the enemy, making a pack; exchanging my dignity and spirit for peace and quiet. The smell of fear, worries and disappointments trace my exact location; my every move. My Shepard is no where near. I’m on my own. I led myself to the wolves. All I can do is either run or hide …
# # # #
Laid my head against the pillow, seeing your smile and pondering what to do. Your innocence is what I kill for. I’ll sacrifice anything to keep you enclosed, not to be exposed to any harm. But we are destined from birth with a purpose. Why God? Why did I become a mother? Was it by choose or was it destined? While she cries, it makes me wonder if I can do this. I feel shame. I feel anxiety. I feel hopeless. I feel scared … Trying to chase away an angry mob of suggestions, parenting advice and past remorse creeps into my head … Am I doing the right thing? I’m doing exactly what my puppeteer, The Dark Shadow, expects me to do: to follow and mimic others’ lives and advice. All I hear are voices that suggests too much and cast out my inner angelic voice and graceful values. Starting on a sour note.
Trust in Him: Lord, surround my sanctuary with positive and reliable sources. Allow me to trust in you and neither lean upon nor rely on my own thoughts and fears.