Withstanding Self (Holy Thought)

Published March 25, 2014 by moradalila2010

Women are like tea bags; it isn’t until you dip them into hot water that you’ll figure out how strong they can be (paraphrase from President Roosevelt quote).

(Psalms 63; 1-11, MSG)

As my unborn child is being formed in my womb; I’ve noticed, how merciful and grateful you have been to me. Before my rebirth (towards the end of 2013), I went through trials and turbulence. An aura that not many can see at the present time. No one can see: my fears, my dark shadows, the younger version of me that has been kept in a concealed environment; a part of me that I’m glad has been washed away as I emerged into your holy water…

I used to feel as if nothing would ever be right for me; moments where I felt that I just couldn’t wake up, moments where I couldn’t see my reflection in the mirror, moments where I wanted to escape; the desire to be with my father (RIP 2007), the only person who guarded me from dark shadows lingering within our family.

Every other night, I was awoken to silence; agonizing because, I was surrounded by people who were ignorant and too scared to face the Truth; threaten by silence, a curse implanted upon my mother side’s of the family…

You’ve never under-estimated me. The venom of silence, couldn’t trick me into believing the lies. I destroyed the crippled walls that kept me from my purpose; I’ve cried out for salvation and courageously walked through a path filled with shattered glass.

Each fearful step, I bleed. Each fearful tear, I bleed. Each fearful cry, I bleed… I’ve bleed out the venom, I’ve bleed out the lies, I’ve bleed and drained all that was left from the falsehood created by abuse, cold-distasteful, deceiving physical love and greed. I drained the blood that supposedly resembled who I am as a woman.

Towards the end, you welcomed me with a new embrace; providing me with friends and mentors who were bold and stubborn enough to shield me, take care of me, and encouraged my metamorphosis. These people, became my family. They feed my Soul and Spirit; never questioning, never doubting and never cursing me.

As I move further towards your path, the feeling of clarity and peace overwhelms me. This overwhelming sensation has enlighten my future. I praise the days to come by embracing my voice. Not holding my tough, I speak the Truth and tear through las cadenas y berras del silencio (the chains and gates of silence) that once held me back from love, dreams and myself. Narrating my story, which would soon be heard by many who are being kept in the dark because of the venom caused by silencing their voices.


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