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All posts for the month October, 2013

Un Toque tan Real (written Sept. 6, 2009, Spanglish)

Published October 20, 2013 by moradalila2010

Desperté. Sentí un golpe fuerte en mi corazón. Un aro acabo de penetra en mi corazón. Eleve y sentí calentura. Desperté. Quise quedarme dormida, porque en mis sueños te quedaste.

Hubo un conflicto. Algo pasaba.

I couldn’t establish what was going on. I ran toward my mother. She ignored all reclaims. She become deaf and stupified. So running into another room, tears developing, the agonizing pain consumed my flesh. Weeping because my mother didn’t wanted to listen to me.

De repente, apareciste. Corrí así ti y te abrase fuerte. Me decías, cuando te abrazaba, preocupado, —“¿Qué te pasa…?— De repente sentí un golpe fuerte, —“¡Papi!”—

Tall and handsome, dressed in a suit; running toward Papi hesitated him. He wanted to know why I’m crying. I weep some more. Seconds later, I felt _el golpe_.

Un abrazo sintiéndose eterno y real. Abrazándome, me mantuviste cerquitita y yo aguantándote fuertemente. Las emociones elevaron.

No air, just the touch of my small hands around your back and my cries for help. You grasped on to my tiny body. I kept on weeping. I felt complacent. I felt your vivid presence. Instantly, I awoke…

No puede respirar. Sentí un golpe tremendo en el corazón. Tu piel, tan fresca, pude volver a tocarte. ¿Qué fue esto? ¿Qué fue lo que sentí casi ahora?

Papi, you were able to break away from the super-natural force that blocks you from humanity. You were able to hold on to my body while I felt turmoil…

¡Aparesiste! Y te espumaste rápidamente.

A picture of you I hold in my hand, weeping like in my dream.

De nuevo te convertiste en un Ángel. Te esfumaste. Y así desperté, llorando, porque te quedaste dentro de mi sueño.

No Me Queda Mas (Daddy Memoir, written Sept. 5, 2009)

Published October 20, 2013 by moradalila2010

I wrote this short piece while I was grieving for my father (in Spanish). A lot was going through my mind; my connection to him at the time was through writing and prayer. Now, it’s been 6 years; I still can feel his warmth caressing my shoulders, his voice still telling me ‘You’ll always be my little girl…’ and his smile so bright and carefree… I know he is watching over us.

 

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                      RIP Frank Rodriguez 1938-2007

Tranquilidad, será mi acecina. Que mis gritos, dentro de la oscuridad, no serán escuchados, ni siquiera podre escuchar la ayuda de otros seres humano. Este acercamiento será un camino lleno de reencuentros, tristezas, realizaciones, o downfalls.

¿Fui yo el que decidí perseguirte? Completas un vacio dentro de mi alma.

Podre decir, que dentro de ti te llevaste algo muy valioso para mí y a la misma vez dañino. Llevaste ilusiones. Llevaste acercamiento. Llevaste niñez. Llevaste y derramaste revolvimientos, y algunas compasiones. Llevaste y robaste mi corazón.

Aunque todavía existe dentro de mi vida esperanzas, sueños, progresos, no pudiste llevar algo tan doloroso, el miedo.

Pero aun así, tendré tu presencia. Mientras crecía, sembraste y cultivaste en mí tu sencillez. También tu brillo de tu cabello castaño, tu nariz grande, tu rostro y tus ojos. Enteraste cultura, y etnicidad…

Cultivaste y modelaste a otra persona.

Posiblemente te has llevado varios sentimientos, pero todavía hay memorias. Eso no lo pudiste llevar. No me ensenaste como estar sin ti. Ahora este corazón tiene que convivir con el miedo y esta ausencia infinita.

Love Child

Published October 17, 2013 by moradalila2010
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family, motherhood, love, growth, life, culture, values, self, spoken words

My fingers touches your heart. I can hear your voice: tender and grace. A creation that I was so scared to make. Your warmth tickling my soul. Oneself. The second we meet, love at first sight. Oneself, innocence that I deeply want to last forever. Oneself, uniting strangers as one; silencing tormenting pasts. Oneself, you may not be my last; you hold the key of our stories, the protector of all siblings that may come. Oneself, uniquely created with a purpose that only thy shall know. My first, my carefully kneaded womb, my beginning of God’s faith and love for me (written 10 weeks in my belly).

Out of Frustration

Published October 4, 2013 by moradalila2010

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For a quick second I have forgotten who I am. I’m unsure whether it’s the people surrounding me or this city in particular that has made me run full speed into a cement wall. In the words of the Proverbs, I must build boundaries. I don’t know if it’s this town that makes me feel like $ $ $. A profit for the rich, just a number for our so called modern “founding fathers.” Let me remind you…………… let me remind myself about these boundaries. If this city, government……… the brain washing politicians; who portray leadership, have tried to market themselves instead of fore-showing their truth (I’m not buying it NO MORE). Let me reinstate; within my boundaries, I am under God with shields in hand, standing out for what’s Truth. Indivisible; attempt to tear down these walls, over my dead body! The God I know, no matter what religious denomination we’re in he loves us equally. With Liberty and Justice for all…